My Friend, My Love, My Enemy
by So-Violette
Summary: She left Gintoki without saying word. After three years she returns acting really strange. He wonders what's wrong with his friend? And did something happen to her while being away from three years? WARNING: VIOLENCE & STRONG LANGUAGE
1. Chapter 1

In Coral chrome city

Mayvel heard footsteps coming towards his desk. He knew exactly who it is. The footsteps stopped. He looks up to see a women standing there in front of him.

Mayvel smile while tapping his pen on a pile of papers. "May I help you?" He asked the women. She didn't say anything. She slammed a suite case on his desk right along with a stack of papers.

"Ahh…good work, but what is this?" He asked.

"What do you think it is?"

"A notice of discharge? What, already? Three years went by so quick."

"Well that's how long you told me I have to work for you. And now I'm done."

"Awww that's too bad, I'm going to miss you love. You and sister are a prodigy compare to the others around here."

"Yeah, yeah I'll miss you too. Now just sign my damn walking papers."

"Alright here you go. So I guess you are done here?"

"Yeah I'm finished," she said staring at the papers.

"I just want to know. If anything comes up again, will you come back?"

The women looked at him. "I don't know Mayvel. Nothing should happen here. And when it does I might be old and wrinkled. Don't forget at my age I should have been settled down."

"What are you talking about? You are in your twenties. Just answer the question. Will you come back if anything happens here again?" Mayvel voice was serious. She didn't know how to respond.

"I don't know, it depends on the kind of situation. But for now, I really need to see someone I really miss."

In Edo

Sitting on the park bench Gintoki lazy ass stared up at the sky. He thought about the last time he saw her. His best friend didn't even say goodbye. She just left a note telling him she had something important to do, see you soon.

("What the hell does she mean by see you soon? When the fuck will that be? When I hit middle age?") He said in his mind. Gintoki sign deeply eating the last of his strawberry ice cream. He thought nothing could ruin his peace. Well, except for them.

"GIN-CHAN!" Kagura yelled running towards him. She jumped up with her feet in the air kicking Gintoki straight in the neck. She made him fly backwards. Kagura kicked him so hard he took down two tress with him. He sat up.

"What the hell Kagura-chan?" Gin shouted moving a branch off of him.

"Don't you what the hell me you baka. You ate all my pickle seaweed!" She shouted holding up an empty bag.

"Oh that bullshit. Next time don't leave it on my desk. And for your information that's my apartment so I can do whatever the hell I want. So finders keepers you little bastard."

Kagura walks over to him cracking her knuckles. "Little bastard?"

Shinpachi came running down the pathway. "Gin-San! Kagura-chan! Oh there you are…?" He stood there watching Kagura stump her foot on Gintoki. Plus she kept kicking him in the ass several times.

"You did it again, didn't you Gin?" Shinpachi asked. "Maybe I should come back when you're not getting ass handed to you."

"Alright Kagura-chan that's enough." Gintoki push her to the grown. He stood up. "Oi...my ass hurts. You are going to cause me to get hemroids," he said rubbing his ass.

"That was my plain," she said.

"Look what the hell you made me do. I dropped my last ice cream!"

"You ate my pickle seaweed!" She shouted back.

"Will you guys shut up about those stupid snacks?!" Kagura and Gintoki turned their heads all the way around like the exorcist movie. They both glared at him.

"Stupid food?" They asks walking over to Shinpachi. He backs up a little.

"For your information glasses, that ice cream had milk in it to help a growing guy like me build strong bones," Gintoki said.

"Yeah growing into an old man," Kagura told him. Gintoki smacked her in the back of the head.

"Wasn't you suppose to do that when you were little?" Shinpachi asked.

"Oi…shut up," Gin said smacking his glasses to the grown.

"Yeah and pickle seaweed has whatever the hell it has in it. I don't know, but all I know for sure that it kept me from kicking people ass," Kagura told him.

"That's impossible Kagura-chan. Snacks don't keep people from kicking other people asses!"

"Oh yeah Pachi boy? If I had my pickle seaweed then I would never kicked Gin-chan ass today."

"Oh…that's a good theory," Gintoki said rubbing his chin. "When I eat I feel bloated. Then sometimes I roll over and fall asleep. The food keeps me from getting up."

"What are you talking about? Food doesn't keep you from getting up. When you ate too much you became full and lazy!" Shinpachi shouted.

Kagura laugh at him. "Face it glasses you can't figure out a smarter answer."

Gintoki picked his ear "Whatever, you two idiots can stay here and play Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader all you want. I'm going home," he said walking off.

"Oh Gin-San, remember we have a job to do later," Shinpachi told him.

"So. That's later on. Right now I'm going home. So call me when it's time to leave."

Kagura and Shinpachi stares at him as he walk away. "What's wrong with lazy ass?" Kagura asked.

"It's been three years already," Shinpachi told her.

"You mean since his lazy ass been without a women. I told Gin-chan if he just perm his hair to make it straight then women would like him."

"No…not that Kagura. Today makes three years since SHE left."

"Oh…her..." Both of them ran to catch up to him. They stood next to him walking.

"Gin-san, it's been three years. You're not over yet aren't you?" Shinpachi asked him.

"Shut up and stay out my business."

"But we know you miss her. Don't you think you should…you know. Move on?"

Gintoki stopped walking. "I said shut up! I did move on. So stop talking about her. She's nothing to me but a distant memory." "(Name)-san is gone and she's not coming back. Get over it." Gintoki walk on head of them without saying another word.

"He's in denial. Gintoki still misses her," Shinpachi said.

"I know.…I miss her chocolate and caramel stuffed cupcakes…" Kagura whined.

"Can you forget about food Kagura-chan. Gin-san still misses his best friend!"

"Who Zura?"

"It's not Zura, it's Katsura!" Katsura shouted running pass them.

"No you idiot, (Name)-san!"

"Oh…who?" Kagura asked. Shinpachi stares at her like really?

"Oh yeah (Name)-san. What's there to miss? She left him because Gin-chan is a lazy, sugar eaten bastard."

"Hey! I can hear everything you back stabbers are talking about. I'm only right here in front of you. I said stop talking about (Name)-san. She's long gone. I told you two I don't miss her!" Gin shouted.

"You don't miss me Gintoki?" They heard a feminine voice behind them. The three of them turns around seeing a women standing there with smile on her face.

"(Name)-san?" The three of them said with a surprised look on their faces.


	2. Chapter 2

"Its been a while Gin," the women said staring at him with a smile. Gintoki stares at her for a minute then tilt's his head.

"Who the fuck are you?" He told her.

"Excuse me Gin, did you forget? It's me (Name)," she told him.

"Gin-san how can you not recognize her?" Shinpachi asked. Gintoki walked towards her then stare at her face.

"Turn around," he told her while he scratch his ear. Doing as told she spun around then face him again.

"Well, do you remember me now?"

He took his finger out his ear then stare at her. "Huh? oh no I don't. I wanted to look at your ass. See ya," he said walking away.

(Name) walk towards him. "Why you perverted bastard! How come you're stupid ass don't remember me? I'm the best thing you ever had as a friend."

"Best thing? The best thing I ever had was porn and parfait."

"Gin-chan stop being a douche bag," Kagura told him.

"Yeah Gin if we could remember (Name) why can't you?" Shinpachi asked him.

"Piss off," he told the three of them while he walk away.

"Well, that wasn't unexpected," Shinpachi said.

(Name) ran over to him. Gintoki kept walking. "Gintoki I'm sorry, I left for three years and told you I'll see you soon and never came back. That my mistake, but I'm here now. I came back for you."

Gintoki stopped walking. "Gomen, I wasn't thinking about how you felt when I left. I know I can't make up three years but I would like to continue being friends with you. Even if you hate me, I could never hate you Gin. Because you're the best trash talking, lazy ass, perverted, sugar eating samurai I ever met."

"Awww that's so sweet, isn't it Shinpachi?" Kagura said blowing her nose on his shirt.

"Tell me you did not just do that!" Shinpachi shouted. Gintoki didn't turn around. She stood there waiting for him to respond. She sighed thinking she didn't get through to him.

"You forgot Shonen Jump reading, you idiot," Gintoki said turning around with that goofy grin on his face.

"Awww you perm headed dumb ass, give me a hug…" She said running towards him.

"(Name)-san don't!" Kagura and Shinpachi shouted. (Name) wrapped her arms around him. It's was a nice hug until he just had to do something stupid.

"What's the? Ginoki really? I been gone for three years and this is what you do?" She ask him.

"Shut up. You shouldn't be surprise by it. You know you're not suppose to trust me." Gintoki had both of his hand on her ass. He squeeze it. (Name) grit her teeth and balled her fingers into a fist.

"YOU PERVERT!" She shouted punching him in the face. She made his body spin then he hit the grown.

"Sheesh, how can she forget about that? Even we saw it coming," Shinpachi said.

Gintoki lands on his back. (Name) walk to him then started stumping the back of her heels on his crotch. "You better keep you're hands to you're self!"

Gintoki started to scream "Ouch!…(Name)-san stop…gomenasai, gomenasai…AAAAIIIIEEEEE!" (Name) gave him one last stump in the private area.

"Oh….…that's got to hurt," Shinpachi said.

"Gin-chan doesn't need his balls anyway. He needs a women in order to use them," Kagura said laughing.

"Let this be a lesson to you. If you want these two sacks of yours. I advise you to keep your hands up your nose, in your yukata or down your pants because that where you put your hands the most. Do you understand?" She asked him taking her heels and twisting it on his crotch.

"OI…AlRIGHT, ALRIGHT I UNDERSTAND!" He shouted. "Just get your foot off me di-"

"Shut up Gin-san this isn't lemon story!" Shinpachi shouted.

"Good Gin, now come on lazy ass. I'll treat you a parfait." Gintoki stood up dusting himself off. He rubs his crotch area. "Eew Gin turn around when you do something like that," (Name) told him.

"Why the hell should I? You're the one who had your foot on it. Plus I left my zipper down again."

"What the? Ugh! Your disgusting. Stay away until you wash your hands. Plus I need to rinse my feet too."

"Oh yeah I have to give you something," he said to her. (Pow!) Gintoki smacked (Name) in the back of the head.

"Ouch…what was that for…?"

"Because no woman touches my crotch. No one, how dare you touch my treasures. I got something else for you." (Pow!) Another smack to the head.

"Gin-chan I thought women doesn't touch your treasures is because they don't want a guy like you?" Kagura asked him.

"Well that is the truth," Shinpachi said.

"Shut up! I didn't ask you two," he told them.

"Why the hell did you hit me again Gin?"

"Because, where the hell have you been?!"

"I'm sorry Gintoki…my dad was sick so my sister and I went go take care of him. By him being old and cranky he wouldn't see any other doctor but me."

"It took you three years to take care of your father?!" The three of them shouted.

"Yes, his regular doctor told us he might not have much time to live. So we though he was going to depart from us very soon. We waited three years thinking he would move on. Then when the time came, he started to feel better, completely cured. I'm sorry it took me so long to come back, but I'm here now. I hope you understand?"

"You should have call me or send me a damn letter. Did you forget those exist? But it doesn't matter, you were going through something. At least I know you and your dad is fine. Now come big ass you promise to buy me a parfait."

"Yes I did, come on it's my treat you guys. Hey Gin where's Katsura?"

"I don't know where Zura went. The author might write him in the next chapter."


	3. Chapter 3

"Ohayou…!" (Name) said stepping in Gins apartment.

Shinpachi and Kagura: "Ohayou." Kagura sat there stuffing her face with Tamago kake gohan.  
(Name): "Where's Gintoki?"  
Shinpachi: "He still in his room sleep. He drank too much last night."  
(Name): "Why am I'm not surprise. Here, I made cupcakes enjoy." She puts them down then walks into Gintoki's room.

In a blink of a eye Kagura grabbed the box and stuffing her face with all of the cakes.  
Shinpachi: "Kagura-chan that for all of us!"  
Kagura: "There all mine, get away from my precious," she said in a spine chilling voice. Shinpachi backs away from her.

(Name) kicks his door in with her high heel boots. She forgot that his door slides to open. She stares at him, his feet and arm is dangling from his bed and he is snoring with his mouth open.

"Eew…" She said sitting next to him. Even though he look gross right about now she didn't know why, but he looks attractive. ("…? What the hell am I'm saying? Gintoki? Attractive? That will never happen.") She shook her head, why couldn't she see him attractive when he's saving people. Why does she have to see how attractive he is when he's foaming spit from his mouth.

(Name) stood up. "Time to wake up Gintoki!" She lift up her leg, spin herself around then dropped the back of her heels hard on Gintoki's stomach.

Gintoki: "AHHH! SHIT!" He shouts holding his stomach. He sat up and look up to see (Name) grinning down at him. He pull her down to him by her coat. "What. The fuck. Is your problem?" He ask giving her a ready to kill look. She smile at him

"It's time to wake up. So get…up!" Gintoki start shaking her by the collar.  
"What the fuck is wrong with you? I don't have to get the fuck up if I don't want to. You got that?"  
"Yes I got it but-WHOA! HOLY SHIT! Gintoki your breath smell like an fucking barrel of sake that been sitting out for 3 months!" He blew his breath in her face. "Oh my god!" She covers her face. He release her.  
"That's what you get for kicking me in my stomach. Why can't you be a normal women and wake a man up by sliding in his bed naked?"  
"Ha ha! That won't happen your totally describing Sa-chan."  
"Shut up…don't say her name loud, that crazy bitch might be watching. If you say her name she might burst in here like the Kool-aid man."  
"She's still stalking you?" She laugh. "Well she very determine and she won't stop until she have you, good luck. And get your ass up." She leaves his room. "Shinpachi, why are you on the floor with bruises?"

Shinpachi: "Kagura-chan…wouldn't let me have one bite…" (Name) reached her hand out to take a cupcake but Kagura starts to growl at (Name) telling her to back the fuck away.

Gintoki walks in drinking a cartoon of strawberry milk then sits down at his desk.

(Name): "Okay, you can have that box Kagura. Here's another box of cupcakes Shinpachi."  
Gintoki: "Cupcakes? Give me one of those's," he said trying to reach for like 6 of them.  
"Hold it perm boy." (Name) kicks Gintoki in the chest making him sit back down. "When was the last time you had your sugar and blood pressure checked?"Gintoki pick his nose.  
"I don't know. Now, give me a cake."  
"Do you guys know?" She asked them.  
Shinpachi: "I don't remember."  
Kagura: "Gin-chan goes to the doctor?" She ask looking confused.  
(Name): "Thats what I thought. I will check your blood pressure but you have to go to your doctor for your sugar. Do you understand Gin?"  
Gintoki: "Yeah, yeah, go to the ice cream store for sugar I got it," he said picking up the box of cupcakes.

"Breaking News, the bank has been robbed last night. Police are trying to find any clues or suspects leading to this crime. There saying it might have been in inside job."

Shinpachi: "Whoa someone got away with a lot of money."  
Kagura: "I could buy hell of food with that." (Name) stares at the TV focusing on the information.  
Shinpachi: "Its in the paper too. The investigators are saying there are no clues leading to this crime. No foot prints, finger prints, or hair. Even the volt where the money was located in wasn't tampered with. That's odd. Maybe that's why they say it was in side job."  
(Name): "How can all that cash walk away on its own? The person must can walk through walls to get a job done like that."  
Gintoki: "It's weird how some people can get away with stuff without giving their selves away. No evidence, no clues, no witnesses. Damn if someone was going to robbed a bank why didn't they included me?"

(Name): "Don't be stupid. You don't want to live your life as a criminal. It's hard and lonely. You have to look behind your shoulders every minute. You have to wear different disguises, you can't trust no one but the people who got you into this mess in the first place. Sometimes you can't even trust them."

Everyone looked at her like she was insane. She said all of that in a serious tone.  
Shinpachi: "Um...are you okay (Name)-san?"  
(Name): "Huh? Oh sorry I was just saying being a criminal would suck. I don't know because I'm not one. I was just saying how would it might feel. I mean look at Katsura he's wanted by the Shinsengumi and those bastards still can't catch him. All done Gintoki."

(Name) leans towards Gintoki with her chest in his face. He stares at her breast with a calm expression. She unwrapped her sphygmomanometer from his arm.

Gintoki: "Yeah they are too stupid to catch him. You know (Name)-san, you been gone for three years. You could at least got a boob job but instead you came back with a bigger ass." He touched her butt with a vey hard smack. "I'm not saying its bad but, it will do."

(Name) left eye twitch. She walks to the side of his desk and kicked him hard in the face. He flew to the front door and falls off the balcony.

Otose came outside and saw Gintoki laying face first on the grown.

"Falling off of balconies huh? Either your, drunk, clumsy as hell or (Name) back in the city.  
(Name): "Hi Otose!" She said waving down at her.  
Otose: "Hello (Name). Long time no see. You're here to stay?"  
(Name): "Yes."  
Otose: "Good keep on kicking his ass until you knock some since into him." She walks back into her shop.

(Name) walks down stairs, "See ya Gintoki I have to go to work, bye now." She walks off. She has her doctor's coat on but she wasn't going to work, not yet, she had something else to do. She opens the door to a house and sits down at a table. Her sister comes out from another room and sits down across from her. She blows out smoke and flicks her cigarette holder dropping the ashes on the ashtray.

Illie: "Did you get the info?"  
(Name): "Of course I did sis what kind of women would I be?" She slides the folded paper across the glass table.  
"Good, there's a lot riding on his information, we don't want to fuck up now do we?"  
"Tomorrow night we go over the plans then we make the steal."  
"Good," she said putting down her cigarette.


	4. Chapter 4

At midnight five dark figures Jump from building to building. Trust me it's not easy. They were trained for this. They landed on the roof top of a very tall building.

Illie: "You all know what to do. Our target is in this building. (Name), you will drop down from this rope then using your boots to break into the glass window. Use the knockout gas and beat anyone ass who doesn't want to stay down." (Name) nods her.

Lamen took out a blueprint. "Our target is here in this office. Garret is inside the building now taking out anyone who blows our cover. He also set off smoke grenades through out that whole floor. So you don't have to worry about someone ambushing you."

(Name): "I know, but this is the last time I'm doing this."  
Illie: "You said that last time."  
(Name): "I know but this time, I mean it. This is the last mission and I'm finished. What are you stealing this time?" Illie smirked.  
Illie: "Were not just stealing, there's something else we need to take care of."  
Lamen: "Let's get this over with. Get into position."

(Name) attached the grappling hook to the building and clipping the end the rope to her belt. She sighed before putting a mask on. She nods to them telling them she is ready. She jumps off the edge, kicks her feet out in front breaking the glass window into shattered pieces.  
"What's the fuck?" One of the employees shouted. She set off the knockout gas and threw them all over the place.

Workers tries to attack her from behind but she kicked backwards and hit them in the back of their necks hitting a pressure temporarily paralyzing them. She check to see if anyone was conscious. Once she was finish she flash her team a signal to come in.  
Illie: "Let's do this."

**In the afternoon:**

Everyone is crowded by a building full of police and investigators.

Kagura: "What's going on over there?"  
Shinpachi: "You haven't heard? The co-owner of this building was murdered last night."  
Kagura: "Wow…who would do something like that?"  
Gintoki: "Someone who doesn't give a fuck that's who," he said walking away.  
Shinpachi: "Reporters said who ever did it took a man's life. Maybe because he didn't tell murder any information. They didn't even touch the millions he had in his safe behind him."  
Kagura: "Another weird crime."  
Shinpachi: "Who ever it was didn't leave any evidence. Just a broken window and empty bottles of smoke grenades."  
Gintoki: "It's always something weird going on in Edo. Maybe I should move to parfait land."  
Shinpachi: "Gin-san Parfait land doesn't exist."  
Gintoki: "It does to me when I eat a spoon full."

(Name): "Hey you guys!" She shouted running towards them.  
Shinpachi: "Did you hear about what happen?" (Name) glance at the building then look back at them.  
(Name): "Yes I heard. It's a tragedy. Whoever did it should be arrested and punished by the system."  
Gintoki: "What do you want?"  
(Name): "Nothing, it's just that I'm off of work because I didn't have that much patients today. So I'm free to do whatever I want."  
Gintoki: "Good I need women around my arm to make me look more cooler than I'm already am."  
(Name): "When did you become cool? I don't remember this."  
Gintoki: "I been cool you dumb ass. I'm the #1 character in Gintama. Plus I got women on my swag." (Name) and Kagura laugh at him. Shinpachi just shook his head.  
Kagura: "That's funny, you look like a loser in my book."  
(Name): "What swag? When was this? The only women's that on your swag is Sa-chan and Tsukuyo."  
Shinpachi: "She has a point there Gin."  
Gintoki: "Whatever, all I hear is jealously. And you don't have to hide it (Name). If you want me all you have to do is get your ass in line with the others."  
(Name): "Well I must be third in line because all I see is Sa-chan and Tsukuyo. But sorry Gintoki I think I'll pass on that offer."

(Name) was going to turn around when she sense someone spying on her. She stood there trying to pinpoint the person located. She wanted him of her to strike first. "(Name) let's go," Gin told her.

When she turned around towards them. Someone in a mask jump out a tree with a dagger coming towards her. She dropped her medical bag and dodge the attack. Doing two back flips she made space between the opponent and herself. She stares at her enemy.

(Name): ("It's a women. What's going on? Did this person saw me last night?") She had to think fast. She couldn't let Kagura and others know she could fight. They already knew she could beat a person ass because she gives Gintoki a beat all the time. Looks like the only thing she could do was dodge and block.

Shinpachi: "(Name) look out!" The women ran towards her swinging her dagger in all different directions. (Name) duck and block with her arm and legs without getting cut. She could easily get behind this bitch and snap her neck, but she couldn't let her friends know what she really do.

Enemy: "Keep still you heifer." She jump up with the air getting ready to slash (Name) on the face.  
(Name): "That's it." She got serious. ("If she saw me last night, then I have to get rid of her.") She reached inside of her white coat pulling out a long poison needles. Before she could use it someone jumped in front of her blocking the attack that was coming towards her face.  
"What the?" She looked up to see Gintoki standing in front of her with his sword. He blocked her from the attack. Gin stood there with a serious expression on his face.

Gintoki: "Weakling, you can't even defend yourself. But just to let you know, you own me one." (Name) smile.  
(Name): "Ha, whatever." Her enemy jump back.  
Gintoki: "Let's do this," he told masked women. The women in the mask dropped her weapon.  
"I'm sorry. I can't harm my one and only love…!" She takes off her mask.  
Everyone: "What the fuck! Sa-chan?!"

Sa-chan: "Oh…Gintoki how I miss you. I love you so…much," she said running towards him. He kicked his leg up then held it against her face. He didn't want her to come any closer. He sighed  
Gintoki: "Not this crazy bitch again." Sa-chan lock her arms around him.  
Sa-chan: "Yes Gin! I'm crazy for you."  
Gintoki: "Get the fuck off me!" He stood there trying to break away from her.  
Shinpachi: "A crazy women after (Name). Why didn't we guess it was-"  
"That crazy bitch," Kagura said finishing his sentence.

(Name): "You four eyed bitch! That was you trying to take my face off. I should beat the shit out of you!"  
Sa-chan: "Yes it was me and I don't regret it neither. I saw you when you walked towards Gintoki the day you came back two days ago. I was watching from that tree. You two have been together ever since you came back, I know because I been following you."  
(Name): "Wow you really are pathetic, a stalker and you need some damn help with your crazy ass."  
Sa-chan: "It doesn't matter because I know you will not take Gintoki from me this time." She hugs him tighter but she realizes Gin wasn't nowhere near her. "Gintoki! You sexy bastard, where have you gone?!" They look down seeing him crawling away from her. He looks back at her.

Gintoki: "Uh... Meow."  
Shinpachi: "What a horrible disguise."  
Sa-chan: "There you are." (Name) jumps in her way.  
(Name): "You idiot, I don't want your boyfriend."  
Gintoki: "I'm not her boyfriend!"  
Sa-chan: "I won't let you take him!" (Name) move closer to her. (Name): "Bitch! Didn't I just tell you I don't want Gintoki!"

Gintoki: "Hey! Don't lie." Sa-chan started talking nonsense again so (Name) hit four of her pressure points making her fall to the ground.  
Sa-chan: "W-What the? What did you do to me?!" (Name) walk away and ignore her. "(Name)! (Name)! Gintoki my lover. HELP ME...!"  
(Name): "Aren't you going to help her?"  
Gintoki: "I don't know her." They then away.  
Kagura: "What happen to four eyes? No offense Shinpachi."  
(Name): "Nothing, I just gave her enough tranquilizer to take down a elephant. Her feelings will come back at midnight."


End file.
